That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

Romans 8:18-30

It’s springtime in Nashville, and the red bud, crab apple, and weeping willow trees are in bloom. I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty excited that we basically skipped winter this year. Still, the cold wet/snowy months are never my favorite, so I’m always happy to see the first bit of green or yellow of daffodils blooming as the first sight of spring.

I can’t help but always be thinking of the state of our hearts. And by “our” I mean “me.” It’s easy to let our hearts turn to stone, to be rugged, and to put a fence up around them. I was recently looking at a photo album (yeah, remember those ancient 3x5s? ) of pictures from when I was a kid. Most of them were taken on the farm my grandparents owned. The farm was 7 acres, had 10 gardens, every kind of flower you could imagine, apple trees, grape vines, pigs, dogs, horses, ponds, etc. I learned to drive behind the barn, I swung on the tire swing all summer long, and made a lifetime of memories. Before I knew it, while looking at these pictures I started crying. Maybe because I know that since my grandparents sold the farm ten years ago, the property is so grown over it’s unrecognizable.

Maybe also, because I fear my heart is unrecognizable. The world we live in today is harsh, to say the least, and I fancy myself to be an independent woman (throw yo hands up at me). I moved away from home at 18 and never looked back. I’m starting to realize though that maybe I’m a little too independent. I distance myself from people to prove that “I can’t do it” on my own. Well, uh… what if I can’t? Truth is, it’s okay. When I have the mentality “I can’t do it,” I’m basically lying to myself. Because in the moment of telling myself that, it’s like a bandaid for cancer, ya know? A momentary fix. Then, the you-know-what hits the fan and it’s full on panic mode. If I would just humble myself in the moment, get a little vulnerable and say, “God,” or “Mom,” or “Dad,” or whoever… “I need your help” I think things would be a little less… urgent, if you will.

I think those pictures represented a sense of innocence to me. Before I got knocked down a few times, before I knew people hurt you with the intention to do so, before student loans ;)

Good thing He makes us new.

Good thing even the winter won’t last forever.

Happy spring to you, friend.

-La

That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. (Romans 8:18-28 MSG)

I did it. I saw ‘The Vow’ this weekend. A sweet friend I don’t get to see very often invited me, so I happily obliged. Truthfully, my expectations weren’t that high. To be truthful again, Channing Tatum doesn’t really do it for me, but I think Rachel McAdams is a doll. I actually think she is cuter than he is. Let’s get real, she’s on my girl crush list (along with Ginnifer Goodwin, Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, and Meg Ryan… too much?)

The movie was cute. As girls, we use that term a lot. So ladies you may know what I mean, but guys, when we say that what we mean is that whatever “it” may be gets our approval. We don’t love it, we don’t hate it, it’s just enough. (Feedback, ladies?) Rachel’s wardrobe was great, half of the time, and the staging design was super cute (see what I did there? I put an adjective before ‘cute’ so that means it absolutely gets our approval. That means we really like it. Am I making sense?) But, I left with my predictions confirmed. It was so lacking. (Lightbulb: they all are.) I was underwhelmed.

We know these movies, don’t we girls? The guy is always misunderstood. By society’s terms he is considered different, a loner, and extremely sensitive. He always cries. He will get frustrated because at some point the girl is not his. And the girl? Oh, we know her, too. We entertain the thought of being with him. We wonder about it, ponder it, admire him from afar almost. Toy with the thought of being with that “other” guy in our lives for a bit, you know, the one we know we’d be happy and comfortable with, but not really happy. She finds herself with an inevitable decision. Misunderstood, emotional, handsome man or financially stable, good family, (sometimes) more handsome man? But at the heart of the issue, is that what it’s really about?

Men, you do this, too. I see more of you in my life in this kind of situation than I do ladies. I’m not going to go there… today at least. Though this is a topic that fires me up, as well as many of my closest friends. Rest easy, for now.

I’m just tired of it. Tired of what these movies are doing to all of us. Hear me say, I’m so guilty and I know it. The Notebook messed me up y’all. I’m a recovering Noah Calhoun addict. I’d like to say I quit cold turkey… but he* keeps coming around. I think I’ve written on this before, but here’s what I’ve not said about it. What if love is so much more than what these movies portray? I’ve got a hunch that it is. I’ve not wrapped my head around this yet and it’s possible that I may never. But if God is the author of love, and he pretty much spells out what love is for us, then why have we sold it so short? Why have we made such exceptions on it? I like to think I have held myself to high standards when it comes to this, and I have always told myself that I won’t settle for anything less than an extravagant kind of love. But at the same time, have I been patient? Have I been kind? Oh goodness, I’m quite certain I’ve been rude, and jealous, self-seeking, easily angered, etc. But the truth is, there are many forces at work here. In the age old good vs. evil battle, this is no exception. There is an enemy of love. So, as we realize that, let’s remember grace. Such perfect grace that allows us to begin, and begin again.

I’ve been told I’m crazy, that my standards are too high, that I’m never going to find what I’m looking for, and yada yada yada. Even I have thought, “maybe I am crazy… maybe everyone else is right…” because let’s not talk about when I last had a date, or at least was in any kind of significant relationship. But I’m back to the place where I can say I beg to differ. Something deep in me refuses to believe the lies we’re fed. Not because we deserve a spectacular love, but because we already HAVE a spectacular love. We are already loved that way! God WANTS this for us, friends. I get so bummed that we don’t know this. That we don’t live from a place of knowing this. (And by ‘we,’ I mean me.) But, the point is not that that I’m off in la-la land dreaming of a scruffy, strong but sensitive, has the voice of an angel man that’s going to sweep me away. The point is that I still believe in love.** 

Love that’s real

Love that’s strong

Love that lives on and on

So, call me crazy. But I’m going to celebrate love. I’m going to have a little hope. Life is too short not to. So, if no one gets you flowers, like no one is going to get me flowers, here are some we can share.

Ultimately, love is a choice. Whether you’re making the choice to love the person you’re with, and I know how hard that can be, or choosing hope in which could very likely lead to love, be happy today. That’s a choice, too, you know? There will be beauty in all of it, if you just let yourself see it.

Chin up, loves.

I even have a date this Valentine’s Day. She’s a blonde headed, spirited, toothless four year old whom I adore.

I couldn’t be happier.

-Lauren

*Ryan My-Definition-of-Thou-Shall-Not-Lust Gosling

**HER HAIR.

I’ve started something. It falls under the category, “Things I’m Trying to Do Less of.” I’m trying to harbor less fear, and everything attached to the dreadful thing. (ie: fear of inadequacies, the unknown, frustrations {why does one, without fail, lead to another?}, anger, shame, guilt, the perpetual ‘check engine’ light on in my car {is it the alternator? Do I have an oil leak? No, this week it’s the transmission} etc.) Honestly, I’ve become especially good at it, these days.

In that, through grace, the Lord is revealing to me His Father heart. Hello, Luke 15, you never sounded so good. What a gift. It’s hard to receive sometimes, but He hushes our anxious reasonings (“…but!!!”) and throws us a party. Psh, who doesn’t like a party?

Brennan Manning says in The Ragamuffin Gospel:

I harbor one legitimate fear: Having been given a seat at the wedding feast, the thought of ever going back into the misery and filth—-the cold and darkness of the highways and hedges, the streets and the alleys of a self-centered life—-fills me with holy dread.

I am thankful for eloquent authors like Brennan who put things in perspective a little bit for me. It’s like He’s whispering, “Receive, receive, receive.”  I think He is. I’m doing my best, fighting those fears, frustrations, lies of inadequacies, and that stinkin’ check engine light day by day. In this, I am hoping to find joy. To create space in my head and heart for wonder, and especially peace. I hope to create space for imagination… creativity… new ideas and inspiration. I want to see things I’ve never seen, and experience things I’ve never experienced. Ah, maybe I hope to get some courage, along this journey. Yes, precisely. But, what is courage without humility? 

Blessed are the few with eyes to see a miracle in a tragedy. For they know that these are the crowning glories. Crowning glories, you lay mine before me. Only for the weak and lowly, only for the humbled heart.

Crowning glories: the best part of something. Gifts. Treasures. He lays them before us. Hm… don’t mind if I do pick a few of those up along the way. :)

I hope this finds you well. It finds me on the couch… on a Saturday night… with a glass of $6 wine. Some call me cheap… psh, I live in East Nashville, clearly I’m thrifty.

Late for the sky (what DOES that mean, JB?),

-L